The Verdict!

Well, well, well! Training allocations pannel met on Tuesday and they didn't confirm what had been discussed previously (see Earlier post about Wesley House!). Instead they have decided to send me to Queens in Birmingham http://www.queens.ac.uk .

Quite a surprise really!

The outcome is a bit frustrating! Whats the point in discussing things, begining to put things into place and then send you elsewhere! I am of course under the discipline of the Methodist Church and thus where they send me I go!

Will post more later.

Next Year......waiting

Well the decision has been made today for where I am to be for the next 2 years. I don't know yet the outcome but apparently there are 4 new UK based Methodist students for Wesley House. The question is am I one of them?! So I am waiting for an e-mail either tommorow or Thursday when all will be revealed.

Back to London!

Well I am back in London after 2 amazing weeks! I got back on Saturday night and then had a full day yesterday! I finish in London in 11 weeks time- which is scary but exciting at the same time! In a strange way I am looking forward to studying again! The final decision for next year will be confirmed sometime next month- this will be good! Bur for now its back to work!
I seem to have caught a cough whilst I've been away! The people who live on either side of me last night said they thought I was dying from the noise! So am hoping it will shift very soon- its horrid and the last thing I can be doing at the minute is having time off after 2 weeks holiday!

Next year again- a decision

Today I went for a meeting with the Principal at Wesley House- Phillip Luscombe. The States has been ruled out- Phillip is quite firm that I should have two years in one place- he argues that it is vital for my formation and thus ruled out Candler. So if I am to go to Wesley house at all it will be for two years. So in the end the decision has happened quite quickly! There are to be suggestions and feedback to go to Formation in Ministry- so hopefully we will get some agreement of plans for the next academic year in the next few weeks. Any plans made now will be subject to the agreement of the training pannels in May. We are hoping formation in ministry may agree to me doing an MA in pastoral theology over two years at Wesley House (http://www.theofed.cam.ac.uk/mapt.html). This will also allow me to "fill in the gaps" from the Cambridge Theological Federations courses. If this goes to plan I will do a placement from the end of August to the start of term. I would also live in College.

I feel a huge sense of relief that a decision has been made about America and feel that Wesley House would be good! During the meeting we did consider the other two full time training institutions and they don't seem to be appropriate for me. One had previously been ruled out with Wendy and the other was ruled out today, based on the changes that are occuring.

A bad day

Have had a bad day today- have been at the hospital. As is the nature of hospital chaplaincy- some anticipated things didn't happen and things that weren't expected did. You never know from one minute to the next in hospital chaplaincy whats going to happen! A hard day- for evening prayer tonight in MCH we had this reading- I found it very moving and emotional. (Probably because I am emotionally drained tonight)

A New Heaven and a New Earth
1 Then I saw "a new heaven and a new earth," for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
5 He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

6 He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.

What a day- when there is no more pain, suffering and heartache.
So much news today speaks of heartache, pain and suffering. Can get you down- but the vision from John's Revelation gives hope!

Tommorow will be a long day! Working at one of the social projects and then doing the overnight shift for night shelter.
Another meeting about next year on Friday afternoon!

next year again!

Its been a busy few days but good! Yesterday I met with someone from Formation in Ministry who sorts out training! It was a really good meeting and I felt positive about it! Having realised last week that conversations had been happening about America without me really being aware I wanted to talk through all the options! Any way- the choices for next year have been narrowed down considerably at the moment. With only 3 full time training institutions in the UK and one of them having been ruled out- we are down to 2 real possibilities in the UK! So am waiting to hear from a College principal to go and talk further about training with that particular training institution! Although the final decision is not made till the 20th May when the training allocations panel meet.

Something I do really feel at the minute is I'd quite like some stability for a bit! Having been in Lancaster last year, London this and another next- the States would mean yet another and back to Cambridge! Then God willing another the following year when I am due to be stationed. I am not quite sure that I want all of my training to be in year blocks- which aren't actually years- september- may! I am not focussed here at present- am being distracted by next year! I thus feel it would help to be in one place for a couple of years to at least be focussed or a year before looking at stationing! However I haven't ruled out the states yet!

So its all go! Am off to Guy Chester Centre tommorow for one of our weekends there! Saturday's are quiet days! So I'm hoping for some space to pray and reflect about the decisions! Am home late on Saturday afternoon for a big family party on Saturday night! Then back to London on Sunday night! Time is going really quickly at the moment! I'm half way through my time here now!

"SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO??"

Well yesterday I met with my supervisor and my accompanist from Guy Chester Centre to discuss the possibility of Atlanta for the next stage of my pre-ordination training. Its an exchange that Wesley House in Cambridge (www.wesleycam.ac.uk) have with Candler School of theology (http://www.candler.emory.edu/)

I am being very indecisive- mainly apprehension. I would be initially applying (so may not get to go- if there were other applicants) any way, but am aware last year as soon as the person on the exchange at present expressed interest he went! Talking to Mark who is there at present he said he would recommend it! Everyone else is saying its a good oppurtunity and an oppurtunity I won't get again! Which of course is true. I think much of me being unsure is apprehension. Speaking to one of my university friends this afternoon though she said- you were aprehensive prior to university, the whole candidating process and so forth. Its clearly part of who I am looking back now- I have no regrets about going to University. I'd be a very different person today having not been. Although a bit cliche God was faithful through University and if I appply and go then there is no reason why that wouldn't be again! And indeed continuing to be in the mean time. I think being abroad would be good for me- something that I do have little experience of. So I am certainly open to the idea- there are a few things that I need to look at and questions to ask. Looking at what I need from my training and how that can be best fulfilled.

I would be doing modules which would be transferable to the UK (Wesley House) for an MA and would be doing any classes offered that I wanted. One of the things about Candler as I understand it is that it is lots of people my age training for minstry- very different from anything offered in this country for pre-ordination training.

So an exciting time, whilst being quite scary too!

it's back AGAIN

Well after being back in London for 7 day I was signed off ill again on Monday. Last week was busy and emotionally draining. I went for my Guy Chester Centre days on Friday and Saturday. Didn't feel great whilst I was there- put it down to tiredness- but I felt quite uncomfortable and in pain. On Sunday night I really felt lousy again-looked at my throat and some white lumps had begun to appear again. Was set to work on Monday but when I got up on Monday morning felt lousy. With a lot of pain in my throat- so torch out again- could see lots more white lumps. So I went to the Dr's on Monday morning- she looked and said "that's the most spectacular sore throat I've seen in weeks." So she gave me another lot of antibiotics for tonsillitis and signed me off for at least a week and said I need to see a Dr again if I don't improve. Had spoken to Mum before she went to work- she said if I was signed off to come home. So I came home to Cambridge on Monday afternoon- have laid on the sofa and barely moved since. Am feeling very tired and still don't feel great- but today can at least move my arms and legs without them hurting too!
My main diet this week has consisted of trifle, ice cream and lucozade!

Any way a mid this- I've received an e-mail from connexion to talk about next academic year. So they are asking me to consider applying for the Candler School of theology exchange in Atlanta. This had been mentioned before. I have some questions and uncertainties- but connexion think it'd help my experience of multi-culture. So we will see, am hoping to talk to my supervisor and accompanists at Guy Chester centre soon. Its all a bit crazy- lots of people are saying great opportunity- I say I'd like some continuity in my training! Other wise I will have had four years in four places. The final decision won't be made till 20th May which seems a long way off! Guess I'll see where God leads!

any way, need some more rest

Back to Work!

This week has been I think one of the busiest weeks I have had in London!
Last Sunday morning it was great to share in the Annual Covenant Service. It was here at Kings Cross- there were only 4 of us- but I was reminded how what we are doing is part of the much bigger picture- we can say it here with just a few of us- yet there are thousands of Methodist's (and others!) who say the words of the Covenant Prayer at the begining of the New Year. For me I found myself reflecting upon the words and the impact they have upon our lives a weeks prior to this- remembering the commitment I had made last year- which were still coming into completeness as 2007 drew to a close.

"I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
Put me to doing; put me to suffering;
Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you,
Exalted for you, or brought low for you;

Let me be full, let me be empty;
Let me have all things, let me have nothing;
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.

And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
You are mine and I am yours. So be it.

And the covenant made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen."

Before Christmas sometimes being in London was challenging- yet I had pledged myself to go where God sent! SO as I said these words this year I was aware that in just 5 months time- God willing the Methodist Church will send me to theological college- I was looking ahead to that, as well as being aware of the more immediate commitment I was making.

The words are powerful, demanding and challenging!

The week continued to be busy, I started work in another of our social projects with alcoholics, I was at the hospital for my day a week. Also helped with the Night Shelter which is hosted at Kings Cross one night a week during the first 3 months of the year.

I had missed not working in my two weeks off and am pleased to be back again. Part of my placement this year that has been helpful in my discernment is working as a hospital chaplain one day a week. Having not been at the hospital for several weeks I was shattered by the end, but gain so much. Its a privillege to be able to take Holy Communion to people (its reserved sacrament). I receive so much from what people share within the hospital. Part of this discernment is helping me to think about where my longer term ministry may lie. One of the good things about Methodism is the way that it can combine circuit work and chaplaincy together!

Has been a really good week- I went home for just over a day too! Then have led worship today at Hinde Street and taught the Senior School Children of the Chinese church today. Was great to be with them- we are looking at prayer during January. so today we looked at the Lord's prayer- the teenagers then wrote some of their own! Including a chav version! Very interesting.

Any way, tonight there is a house meal and meeting! So best go! Will update soon!