Long time no blog!

I haven't blogged for a while. Its been busy with some work for the local exam board and then lots of time with family in Cambridge. Then have been away with my parents for a week to the highlands. What I share here today, are some reflections of the inspirations I had whilst I was away. The scenery was stunning and amazing!

bits and bobs

SO I've been in Cambridge for the past 11 days, i've unpacked and had lots of time to relax. At the weekend I had lots of family time which was lovely- I've missed not having lots of family time over the last year. I appreciate having little people in our family again! So playing hide and seek was fun! I always appreciate the time I can spend with family and friends so that was good!

Last week I registered with an agency and am hoping to do some paid work! At the moment that seems to be a waiting game! So in the mean time I've been listening to Methodist Conference and reading! So not alot to report at present... I have been doing some thinking so will write that up, I need to do some clarifying first!

MY reading list arrived from Queens today, I also have some work to do before I go to Queens! So might start that soon- although need to get hold of one of the books first!

Any way, enough rambling!

The end of my first year of pre-ordination training

So I haven't written for a while!

I finished in London on Sunday- I shared my testimony and some reflections on the last year in a lovely morning service. I was asked what reading I'd like for my leaving service, I chose John 15v1-17. For me the last 12 months has been a pruning time. Pruned from Lancaster and pruned theologically. When I begin to reflect on how much I've gained its huge amounts. It hasn't been easy but I hope it has been a fruitful time. It was a Communion Service, led by my supervisor Cathy Bird. There were 9 of us altogether and it was really special. We went out for lunch after worship. Then Mum and Dad arrived to meet me. I was rather tired as I hadn't gone to bed till 3am because we had an MCH gathering on Saturday night! Then I was up again at 7!
Finished packing (Mum and Dad had to bring a 4th suitcase!) and then headed for the station. There was rather a lot of luggage to say the least! Luckily one of my relatives was in London so brought 1 suitcase back! Thanks to David who helped us over to the station to load the luggage on! Then back to Cambridge by 5pm. Unfortunately then the task of unpacking began :(. Trying to find homes for everything is fun and am still finishing off now!

So am now home for the summer, this week I am having the week off. I saw Hazel and Hollie on Monday and will see them again on Friday. I also am hoping to get some summer work, next week, all being well. The weekend looks busy, am off to Sheringham with my home Church family on Saturday and we are having an extended family day on Sunday!
So its quite busy, but nice to be able to relax! As I've unpacked I have looked at all my books I want to read! So am hoping I might do some reading!

Last few days in London

Well, I am 3 1/2 days away from finishing my year in London. This week there have been several goodbyes already and people have been generous to me. I have some lovely flowers among other bits and pieces at present!
I have the Haven tomorrow and then just my farewell service on Sunday- after which we are going out for lunch.

The last week has been manic, I visited Queens last week which was great. It was great to see where I am going to be, everyone was really friendly and they seem to have really good resources as well! I am going to do an MA in Applied Theological Studies- which is exciting and scary. I have really missed study this year! Which has surprised me! So I will be moving to Birmingham in early September.

At the weekend I had my final Guy Chester weekend, which I was only there for on the Friday. Last week my Grandma (Dad's Mum) was 80 and there was a big family party on Saturday night. It also conincided with Dad's Birthday. It was a great night and to me really important to celebrate life! It was great to be able to be with family again! I will put a picture up at some point! The last song of the night was "You'll never walk alone." It seems to have become our family theme tune, it was played at my cousins wedding (An avid Liverpool fan!) just after Dad had finished his radiotherapy and Grandma said that those words were for him. So it gets a bit emotional now.

Then back to London on Sunday, yesterday it was nice to see Steve (my university chaplain) who was in London and then last night I had my final women's group. Today I finished my time at the Hospital. I plan on reflecting next week on some of the inspirations of the last year, so will write them here!

Steve asked me yesterday what are the two things I am going to take away from this year?! A good question- i've learn't so much but haven't processed it all yet! I do know that part of me this year has been learning to live with tensions. Whether it be the tension of living and working in the same place! The tensions between social work and Church, between Hospital chaplaincy and circuit ministry! The tension of also not always being able to do much, especially in hospital chaplaincy! I can pray, but physically I cannot relieve the pain, I cannot stop the person from dying. Its hard and there isn't much you can sometimes do apart from be alongisde. Which I guess is part of the incarnation. The tensions also of the Criminal justice system.

I am already starting to realise just how much I have gained- now I need some time to process!

Any way, need to get some rest! So will write again shortly!

Tonsilitis and a long journey home

Well a good week back in London, Monday morning I wake up with a sore throat! Great- tuesday wake up and feel even worse, sore throat, neck, glands up so I decided I didn't think i'd manage a day at the day centre. Spent until 5 in bed- don't think i've ever quite done this before. Late on Tuesday night I found my torch- looked in my throat and decided perhaps I ought to see a doctor. SO I found a local Dr on NHS direct website and phoned them yesterday morning. Went and saw the Dr, he took one look told me to close my mouth, not to speak and gave me some strong antibiotics. Apparently I am highly contagious. He said I'll give you a sick note- didn't think that was neccessary but suffice it to say I am off ill. Working with people who are vulnerable means they are probably even more seceptable to illness!
When I spoke to Mum she said it'd make sense to be at home. So yesterday evening- once the trains are usually quieter from Kings Cross to Cambridge, I went to get a train to discover there was signal failure at Kings Cross. So people were being sent to Liverpool St- great apart from the Underground was so overcrowded the police had closed it off. Didn't feel like the underground and thought well if need be I can go home tommorow. Trains eventually started again, but only 3 trains coming in per hour. They couldn't guarantee when another train would go to Cambridge- if it would even be last night. So after 2 1/2 hours of waiting I rang Mum and Dad and agreed if I got to Stevenage they'd fetch me from there! Thank God for parents like mine! 4 1/2 hours it took from leaving my room to getting home! On a journey I can usually do in an hour.
So am home now, drugged up and resting. Don't know whether my voice has improved from yesterday- no one to talk to at present. So it maybe a quiet household again tonight! Am hoping when Mum gets home from work She will make me some triffle! A regular food for when I have tonsilitis! This bout of tonsilitis is my second since November. Its crazy I've had more time off between November and now than in my entire degree.

One of the questions asked often in theological training is where is God in all this... currently thinking on where God was in all the chaos of last night! Will blog about it soon.

Where is God when it hurts?

On the 2nd March 2005 my Dad was diagnosed with throat cancer. What followed was a journey that was hard and painful for our family. So often people ask the question, how do cancer and God exist. Below is a reflection I wrote during Dad's illness, where is God in cancer? God is there, its not always easy but if we look we can see the presence of God in it all. This is part of my testimony and part of a personal journey of where God was for me and my journey with my family facing cancer.

Where is God when it hurts people ask?He is there, I know for myself.
But how can God be there if he loves us they ask?
Well let’s take a look at what Jesus, God made man experienced himself in his journey to his death.
In the garden of Gethsemane he suffered mentally, as he took up his cross he suffered physically, through this suffering he died and returned. Resurrected giving hope, the message of salvation.

Where is God now when life really hurts?
He is there, I know for myself.
Let us open our eyes to see, it may not be easy but when you look you will see God is there.
God is there in the hug of a friend, as you sit and sob, as others comfort you.
“I don’t know what to say” they say.
A hug and the presence is enough, there is God, in others and through the comfort of the Holy Spirit, sharing in the tears with you.

Where is God when it hurts?
He is there, I know for myself.
In the phone calls, conversations, in the visits, greeting cards and the prayers.
In the hands of those that give the treatment, the doctors, surgeons, nurses, radiotherapists and the support groups.
In the hugs and tears shared with one another.
Just when you begin to look God is everywhere in the cancer, in the courage and battle of it.

God is there in it all,
In the pain, tears and courage.
In the past, in the present and future.
Jesus is the alpha and omega.

God is there, faithful and true,
He’s a beacon in the night.
God is there in his promises,
“I am with you always”
“Nothing can separate us from the love of God”
“His rod and staff they comfort me”.

God is here and there.
God has shared from the beginning,
The words he speaks through his Spirit,
“I am with you always”.
God is here in the comfort from the Spirit and those around us.
Through the hugs and tears.

In these days we trust in God’s unfailing goodness and love he offers us.In the everlasting hope he offers, whatever happens.